In this day and age of Social Media, the Comparison Game is one with tons of players, especially among bloggers and influencers. If you aren’t a blogger, I’m sure you, or someone else you know, has felt a touch of the mean greens after reading someone’s FB status, or seeing photos of their tropical vacation! If you are a blogger, I’m sure you know who’s at the top: the bloggers that RewardStyle (LIKEtoKNOW.it), ShopStyle, and Revolve are always spotlighting, and the women who get the huge collaborations and campaigns. As much as I want my blog to grow, and grant me those same opportunities, I’ve learned that I can’t compare my life, my journey, and my goals with anyone else’s! Read on for my tips for quitting the Comparison Game.
It can be easy to look at the top bloggers and try to replicate what they are doing, because clearly, they’ve found the magic formula for success, and it’s working for them. But for me (and I always try to be open about my point of view) I’ve come to realize that I can’t compete with those top bloggers. I’m short, I’m African American, and I’m full figured…and that’s ok! My favorite blogger is Emily Ann Gemma, and although I sometimes draw inspiration from her for my photos, (#frontseatsituation anybody?) I cannot try to pattern my blog or IG feed after hers. She has her own fan base, and it’s full of girls who more than likely share her aesthetic, appreciate her aspirational images, share her disposable income and style, or who are just masters at pulling off her look. People who are drawn to her wouldn’t likely be drawn to me, and again…that’s ok! I now understand that for every adjective I used to describe myself earlier (short, full figured), there are sooo many girls that are just like me, who are looking for someone to inspire them, and who are looking to see how clothes and trends would look on them. And this my friends, is the coolest thing about blogging: you can find your niche and your audience, and inspire people who are moreso like you, than those bloggers at the top!
Another one of my favorite bloggers, Maria Vizuete, always looks fantastic in everything she wears, and I think this is why she is so successful! When she takes a blog photo, or an IG photo, I immediately want to rush out and buy what she’s wearing, because it looks so phenomenal on her! But if I were to buy it, it wouldn’t look the same on me as it does on her, and that’s why it’s important to embrace our differences! People enjoy seeing the aspirational images of thin and perfectly polished bloggers, but they also want to see how clothing looks on women who don’t have perfect bodies, or money for tons of accessories and designer handbags to complete the look.
My recent blog posts featured a pair of Over The Knee boots, and I got so many emails from women telling me that I inspired them to purchase their first pair, because until they saw me wearing them, they didn’t think they could pull them off because they felt that their legs were too short, or they didn’t feel thin enough! Because I embrace being short and pudgy (LOL) I’m able to reach an audience of women who are otherwise afraid to try trends, due to their body types.
I’m on Instagram all day, so I’m always seeing people’s fabulous vacations, their magazine worthy photo shoots, and their perfectly curled hair. Meanwhile, I’m sitting in my house like:
But in all seriousness, the one thing I’ve learned so far in my blogging journey, is that image is often not reality! For my day job, I’m a Child Protective Services Investigator, and the nature of the job often requires me to keep irregular hours. I do NOT wear makeup to work, and I don’t put much thought into what I’m wearing. LOL. Many times I come home from work, slap some makeup on in 10 minutes, throw on a cute outfit that I’ve been waiting to wear, and take a photo. I then post the photo on social media like I’ve just been glam and fabulous all day! #lies. ? I’m pretty sure that this scenario is very likely for other bloggers as well.
It’s important to remember that social media is just giving you a highlight reel of someone’s life or day, and not the full story. Sure, someone may post photos of the fabulous resort they are staying in, but what they may not be telling you is that they had to sit through a 5 hour timeshare presentation, which is how they were able to take the trip in the first place! Or you may look at someone’s IG feed and see their new gorgeous photo, but what you aren’t seeing is the 450 photos that were deleted before settling on the one that made the cut!
How many times have you been out and about, only to be stopped by sometime who tells you that you “look sooo much like so and so?!” I can’t even put a number on the amount of times that I’ve been told that I look like someone’s sister, cousin, friend, etc! I’ve often joked with my family that God has had to create so many people, that at some point He probably made molds, which is why so many people look alike! ? At any given point, there could be a thousand other people with similar features, body types, and personality traits as your own! And those thousands of people are just waiting to hear from you, and read about your experiences! There is room for everyone’s specific point of view and unique style in blogging, so if you are playing the Comparison Game, go ahead and remove your token from the game board. Find your tribe, and start inspiring!
See you next time!