*Buckle up Socialites! The snark is in full effect with this post!*
Ok, I’m all for creativity, and pushing boundaries (hello…I’m a fashion blogger with a fupa for crying out loud!) But what.in.the.entire.WORLD is Gucci thinking with their men’s S/S 2019 collection?!!!! I am not a couture fashionista, so maybe the fashion community gets it in a way I never will, and this collection is probably super duper fabulous (Technically it is! 70’s disco meets Parisienne decadence) but I’m a girl who bargain shops, so what do I know? ? I’m still going to break the Gucci S/S 2019 collection down for y’all, just for kicks, and so we can all snark together!
1. Study Break
This half “library study date”/half “lets go to 3rd base tonight” look is just…odd. The pullover isn’t bad, but does anyone need logo tighty-whitey’s? We won’t even discuss the socks and shoes, cuz that just goes without saying.
2. I have an MBA in Aerobics
The suit isn’t bad actually. Plaid can be powerful, and it gives the vibe of getting stuff done à la Sherlock Holmes. What I’m not understanding is the deep halter cut “no one’s seen this shade of purple since Jane Fonda aerobics” bodysuit. I’m fully expecting there to be spangly tights and leg warmers under the pants at this point.
3. Prom King (Kong?)
I’m immediately drawn to the cod piece (gotta go medieval on this one) considering they Swarovski’d the crap out of it. Why???!!! This cannot become a trend. Remember that old metrosexual term “peacocking?” Yeah…this literally brings it all back. On to the rest. The jacket is amazing! The ruffle shirt is pretty cool: Very “I Would Die 4 U” era Prince. Where they lose me is the hat, the shades, and those Ziggy Stardust pants. Uh, NO.
4. This ones actually ok, so no name. The sweater is nice, and the cut of the suit is uh-mazing!!! See, I’m not petty! But Patrick Bateman probably would have worn this, had American Psycho taken place in the 70’s.
5. 50 Shades of Pale
This entire look is exactly how I would have imagined little Cory from Flowers in the Attic, if he’d never died, and instead grown up to love S&M. (Someone needs to write that fanfic!) Thanks Gucci. We all need leather and studded crotches in order to feel fulfilled in 2019.
6. I’m Just Here To Get A Check
And I certainly hope he got a decent one. Where do we start? Is that Andy’s blue sweater from The Devil Wears Prada? (I knew that scene was innovative). More crotch detailing. I can’t figure out if Marvel was the inspiration, or Gucci just really loves pelvic areas. Sigh…
7. I’m Gonna Pop Some Tags
So this outfit instantly brought Macklemore to mind, cuz this entire outfit looks thrifted. The sweater is actually nice, but he’s wearing somebody’s grandad’s golf pants from the Caddyshack era; some mean girl’s statement necklace from 2013; and are those loafer sneakers?
8. There Are No Words
Seriously. There are none. Regina George told y’all vests are disgusting. Should’ve listened…otherwise you end up with this weird Billy Ray Cyrus meets Chuck Bass getup.
9. Mick Tyler
Or Steven Jagger. Either way, this model is clearly the child of Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler, and this outfit is totally appropriate. No one but Steven could pull off the snakeskin pants, and that smoldering insouciant swag? Sooo Jagger. With that said, I can not recommend this look to anyone in the general populace.
10. The Fashion Equivalent of The Mullet
If anything says business on top, party on the bottom, it’s this carefully constructed, Bipolar ensemble! I do like the boots, but everything else? It’s a no from me, dawg.
11. Feel the Beat
Not much to say about the outfit, but this is clearly one of El DeBarge’s uncles, who was probably his manager in the late 80’s, and stole a good percentage of the profits, and has been living a life of luxury in the Dominican Republic ever since.
12. Matching Luggage
Back in my day, you were doing it and doing it well, if you had the 5 piece matched luggage set. I guess Gucci is trying to make us long for those days when the simple things meant so much. Either that, or Alessandro Michele (Creative Director at Gucci) stared really long and really hard at a set of steamer trunks. Bottom line: for you, for me, it’s a no.
13. Sgt. Pepper’s Electric Disco Revival
This is sooo good y’all! When you can’t tell if a fabric is gold lamé or lamb leather, you’re off to a real good start. The way the pants flare out perfectly at the cuffs; the fuschia high neck blouse peeking out from the purple lapel…this outfit is golden! Literally! The red hat adds just the right amount of IDGAF to the overall look. Yeah…I’ll have to pass on this one. ?
14. Save The Last…
This outfit is not quite so bad, but I couldn’t not include it, mainly because this whole look is a future glimpse at an elderly (but still chic!) Julia Stiles. And that’s awesome.
15. Just No
I’m not saying a word. Ok…the socks are nice. That shade (ecru?) is just lovely.
What are y’all’s thoughts on the Gucci S/S 2019 collection? Please join in on the fun and leave a comment below! ??
See you next time!